Hi! My name is Alex and i am Irresponsible

Irresponsibility can be an addiction as strong as drugs or alcohol, Irresponsible Anonymous is a 12 step program to kick the habit of breaking promises, this is step one, it is about recognizing your current level of response-ability.

You acquire responsibility easier than you might think, each time we have an idea, propose something or listen to a comment; we are responsible for our actions pertinent to that context.

In the company my father works for, he established a motto: “If you see it, you got it”. The purpose of this phrase was to make his team members understand that just by seeing something you are now responsible for what you saw.

This extends even to the most insignificant aspects of your life: If the door to your room squeaks, you have a responsibility, it may not be to buy and apply the oil yourself, but you do have to notify someone and follow it up.

I’m writing about responsibility, not guilt, these are two very different things. Responsibility comes from the Latin “Responsum” which means “I answer”, my definition of it is: “Capacity to answer for your actions and inactions”.

The truth is that the sheer volume of responsibility that enters our field of action these days can be quite overwhelming, and assuming your role as owner of your life can be intimidating. Irresponsibility becomes a kind of addiction: If you don’t feel committed to giving answers, you can always allege that “I didn’t care anyway” or use the favorite excuse of this decade “I just didn’t have the time”

Bit by bit, others will lose their trust in you, and stop asking for things, giving you more and more breadth to do as you wish, it’s a way of libertine loneliness that erodes the self-esteem.

Some telltale signs that you have fallen into irresponsibility is when you make statements like “This is not in my job description”, “I don’t have time for that kind of think”, “I don’t care”, “Everyone should mind their own business”, and other dissociative statements,

The question I ask is: if you really don’t feel any responsibility over the issue, then why do you repeat over and over those same excuses?

Responsibility is not always “doing”, sometimes it can be something as simple as a friendly reminder, a phone call, delegating, or just plain saying “no”. The former is the most important tool in your repertoire, you can always say no, but this denial cannot be implicit, it must be clear and assertive.

Our biology has limits: our brain can only handle 5 to 10 ideas at a time, and the mechanisms that remind us of things are all wired wrong and respond to random impulses and gut feelings. The human brain is designed to create, research, discover and adapt… not to keep a schedule.

There are people that cope with this by gravitating towards tools like planners, calendars and to-do lists, but there are others (like me at one time) that just said “I will do this tomorrow” and then just forgot.

The result is that you start accumulating a large amount of unaccomplished commitments that we thought we forgot, but that are in our long term memory like a background buzz, limiting our ability to keep moving forward.

How many things do you owe your friends and family? How many books or movies go unreturned? How many of your problems at work could be easily solved? …How long has the door to your room been squeaking?

So the first step in the program is to admit that you are irresponsible, open your eyes and look around to realize how many promises you have broken to your family, friends and most important…to yourself.

Next week we will take the second step: finding a stable point with.

Many times coaches and motivators will tell you that first you need to set some long term goals. In my experience and research, this is unsustainable: why do you care where the boat is pointing if its sinking? To state long term goals in the middle of an addiction to irresponsibility is just adding another commitment that you won’t keep, first let’s focus on returning some books, later we can define a life goal with much more clarity.

For now i just leave you with the task of opening your eyes, spend the week taking notice of how many of the things that surround you have some weight on your conscience, and how many things do you need to accomplish to find some closure. Take the time to reflect for an internal change, awaken to your irresponsibility and leave a comment on this post with your welcome to Irresponsibles Anonymous, just dare to take the first step