The boat is sinking, who cares where it’s headed? Bail water!

Irresponsibility can be an addiction as strong as drugs or alcohol, Irresponsible Anonymous is a 12 step program to kick the habit of breaking promises, this is step two, it is about reaching stable ground to build upon.

When I started getting organized, I checked my email inbox to make a list of all pending issues, at the time there were close to 10.000 e-mails, from which i got only about 100 tasks, proving that a pile of stuff doesn’t always imply a pile of work. A large amount of material that reaches your attention is just background noise, the key is in being able to separate the chaff from the valuable input you need to get your work done.

The second thing I did was go to my room and check drawer by drawer, I ended up trashing 5 bags filled with paper I did not need. Later on, when thinking why my room accumulated so much paper, I discovered it just needed a trash bin by the desk, learning that sometimes a small change can solve a big problem, and that one paper at a time becomes a room full of trash.

We accumulate so much input from email, papers, cell phones, and messages that we can’t get any clarity in our lives. Each of these tools functions as constant implicit reminders of irresponsibility, and become a weight on your conscience that won’t let you move forward.

This is why i don’t want to stress you with the question: what am i going to do with my life? For now just focus on the question: What am I going to-do today?, if you can’t stop thinking about returning rental movies don’t pretend to solve the core aspects of your life and 10 year goals, there will be a time for that further on.

The first step consists in “bailing water”: Returning to a stable ground where you are in control. The key to this step is that response-ability means “being able to answer for your actions and inactions”, to do this you first need an inventory of who to answer to, starting with yourself, so that you can later take action or negotiate inaction.

The method is really simple:

1. You need to buy two things:
   1. A small pocket notebook that you can carry on you at all times.
   2. Something you can write on that feels like a reward and makes you want to open it and work on it often: A pretty notebook, a fancy new app, a cool cell phone or an elegant planner, for consistency I will refer to this as List Tool from now on.
2. Carry the planner with you to write down anything that crosses your mind, it doesn’t matter how small or large, each time you remember something you have been asked, have an idea you want to execute or are asked for something, write it down in your notebook. Tip: write down each item in a single paper, that way when you later need to check the notebook you can dedicate all your focus to each idea without distraction or angst, for example if you have on the same paper “prepare for tax audit” and “spend more time with my family”, the dissonance between the concepts can generate stress and anxiety.
3. Check your surroundings to detect responsibilities that you have pending, writing them down in your notebook: Desk, e-mail, office, etc. Tip: don’t try to do it all in one go, start modestly so the process doesn’t generate anxiety, remember you have a whole week to check, dedicate just a bit of time each day.
4. Label each page of your List Tool with every context or person that can give you responsibilities (Mom, Dad, Administration, Jhon, HR, Richard, Wendy, Home, Wife, etc.)
5. Take a couple of times every day to review  as many pages as you can from your pocket notebook, asking yourself the following questions:
   1. Do i want to do this?: Remember you can always say no, but take into account that you also need to answer for your inactions, if you don’t want to-do something just take the choice and notify those involved.
   2. Can I do this?: If it’s an idea you like, but you can’t achieve at the time, just make a page called “Someday” at the end of the List Tool, and write that down so you can just mature the idea for a better time.
   3. If the answer to both questions is “yes” now you need to think exactly what you are going to do about it and write that down on the corresponding page. Tip: After writing the task down, tear off the page in the pocket notebook. If it is filled with processed information it will generate anxiety to leaf through to the first unchecked page.

On the squeaky door example: When i hear it i write down on the notebook “the door squeaks”, when I get to the office I open up my new planner and on the page titled “My Wife” I write down: “Remind my wife to add 3M oil to the shopping list”.

Easy Right?

Even though it might appear odd to have to write down everything twice, there is a scientific reason behind it: The sections of your brain that are used to have an idea or remembering a task, are not the same that are used to plan execution. Changing patterns of thinkings and brain areas is physically hard, which makes un unconsciously avoid the planning process. By associating the notebook with ideas and the List Tool with planning, we give our brain a “heads up” on what part is needed, providing clarity to determine what the next step is.

This week, spend as much time as you can reviewing your surrounding and generating your commitments list with tasks, don’t worry to much about completing them yet, whats important is the motive behind the exercise: Taking stock of the totality of your commitments and taking active choices about each one ofthem.

The revelations that you will have when you complete your lists will be a key point in yourlife, I promise.

With list in hand, next week we will take a deeper look on how to make that list a bit shorter, remember that you can ask anything you need during the capture process in the comments section of this post, or contact me directly through twitter (@alexmrv)