It’s easier to man a ship as a team

Irresponsibility can be an addiction as strong as drugs or alcohol, Irresponsible Anonymous is a 12 step program to kick the habit of breaking promises, this is step four, it’s about getting a little help from your friends, making the load lighter by lifting it as a team.

Getting organized and clearing your head is a wonderful feeling, and it’s well worth the sweat.

Sadly, I can’t give you a magical easy method that doesn’t require work, it’s an effort to reach this state of mind and to top things off, it’s hard to maintain… This should come as no surprise; in evolutionary terms Homo Sapiens is just a child. Our tools may be very advanced, but our biology is still best equipped to hunt animals, forage, procreate and sleep in a safe environment. However, our social evolution has required us to do strange things, like tax statements, and in the anti-natural state of things, it requires some effort to keep a clear head.

However, the strategies that worked when we were cavemen (and cavewomen) 40.000 years ago are still valid; the most important one is working as a team.

It is only in recent years that asking for help has gotten this bad rep; for the chronically irresponsible, like me, our worst enemy is the pride that pushes us to say “I can do it on my own”, when we do that we squander away the incredible power of Positive Public Pressure.

First i must explain what Positive Public Pressure means: One of the levels of Maslow’s motivational pyramid is social acceptance, this means that the search for praise from others is a primary and biological force, something that can only be placated with a lot of effort, constancy, dedication and discipline.

But… if this force is so great, why not better use it in our favor?

If you have noticed, in my previous posts i have recommended that you post on the blog or write to my twitter, why have I not given away my e-mail? Because that would be private, and that is not the idea, the recommendation is that you commit in public to the change you want in life. But don’t do it in an anonymous fashion: Show your to-do list to your couple, family and friends, promise them that you will cross 5 things off today… be a show-off and say things like: “I never forget because I write things down”.

You will notice that more and more, you will work to avoid letting your loved ones down.

For me, everything started on the day i asked my friend Daniel: How can i make some sense out of my e-mail basket? And he recommended GTD. But it wasn’t just one conversation that cut it, during the entire implementation I kept asking him “how is this”, “how am I doing”, and I kept looking for positive feedback and implementation recommendations.

Honestly, without the help of Daniel and the support of my wife, family and friends, i would have never implemented my system, this doesn’t  belittle the achievement in any way… all the contrary, it gives me the opportunity to have more in common: My wife can say: “you didn’t write it down” and remind me that short term memory doesn’t work, my father can say “I sent you an e-mail” and I will remember to check my in basket frequently,  Daniel can say “We haven’t finished the presentation” and I will remember to read my to-do lists.

Find support in others, commit publicly, and you will notice immediately that things will start flowing with more ease.

It is the knowledge that you are reading these articles that keeps me motivated to publish on time, no matter how busy I am, so more than just give recommendations, on this post I want to thank you.

It is up to us to walk this road together, i invite to meet up on Twitter with the Hashtag #I-A (Irresponsibles Anonymous) and support others in this important process of retaking a lead role in our own lives.